Good bye #14 with gratitude

Today my infected tooth, Faithful #14, is coming out. I've slept about 2 hours, my tooth is twinging ominously, and I've got 30 minutes until I can take my antibiotic and 90 until my next pain meds. It's 2 1/2 hours until my appointment and of course, in the way of life, today is Mark's first day of preschool so Tim and I have had to choreograph our moves today like synchronized swimmers or maybe those Air Force stunt planes. My ankle is a spectacular blueish purple which Anjali has proclaimed looks just like tie-dye.

On the other hand I am deeply grateful.

After a scare last night when my tooth really started hurting, my mom came and kept vigil with me from 11:00 last night until 6:30 this morning. I am deeply grateful for her presence. She was my calm and competent superhero.

Anjali stayed up with me, watching MythBuster Ninja and getting me to laugh until my mom arrived and then insisted she sleep on the couch next to where I was reclining. When I suggested her bed, she replied, "But Mom, how am I ever going to know how to be a good mom when I grow up if I don't watch Gramma?" Couch it was. I am so grateful for her kind and compassionate presence.

I am grateful that my tooth started flaring while I was awake with time to prepare and not while I was asleep.

I am also grateful that the pain didn't overwhelm me and has actually been minimal compared to what I was expecting.

I am grateful that the swelling in my ankle has gone way down as collateral healing from all the Advil I'm taking. I would never have bought or taken any for just the ankle.

I am grateful for all those anonymous, determined scientists who bring me antibiotics and Advil without ever knowing me or how they've helped me personally.

I am grateful for my dentist who is very meticulous and conscientious and kind.

I am grateful for my chiropractor, Ginger, who set aside time this afternoon to help me just hours after surgery. She told me that people can die from infections like this and so

I am grateful to be living here with enough resources to get the help I need to heal instead.

I have vowed to myself that I will be faithful in getting help for myself for the motherload of terror I tapped last night. And the good news is that after years of trying and failing and trying again, I actually have resources- truly helpful people- who will help with vigil and laughter and tooth and ankle and terror. I am grateful that I am no longer adrift without any comfort or help like I once was. And I am proud of myself for finding and assembling a team of people who really help me heal.

It's time for those antibiotics. Thanks for caring.