I like my life

One of the striking things I saw on my trip is that I like my life. About day 4 I was missing my home. It was good to realize that I like my every day life so much. Often I'm swamped in the latest kid argument or cleaning and don't see it. But looking from a state away, I could see how good and rich and satisfying my life is. It's good to go and adventure, to leave behind all the familiar ways, intentionally not check email or watch DVD's, and try on a new life. I found that I was ready to move more- more yoga, walking, swimming- than I had realized in the familiar paths of home. I enjoyed the new sites- rock cliffs in pink, warm springs, prairie dog villages- and yet found myself longing for my own bed, a better breakfast, my own rhythms.

I am more excited about my life than I have been in years. And not the frantic, driving excitement of my past either, but rather a deep, calm pleasure.

Last Friday was our first morning of homeschool co-op. I was very pleasantly surprised. The ladies were a delight, the kids agreeable, and my tasks easy. I got some good money-saving tips and a pep talk on the values of family exercise. The women were genuinely friendly and welcoming. I'm not seeing my future soulmate here, but I've got to say that a morning with pleasant, happy people was cheering. I'm satisfied with the trade-off I've made.

This morning Tim leaned over in church and asked if he should bubble in "Regular Attender" on the attendance card at church. I agreed that he should. We intend to regularly attend Wooddale Church, Edina campus, this year with the intention of many more. And after all the backing and forthing and trying and evaluating, I have to say that I'm at peace with my 5/10 choice.

Tonight is Anjali's first church choir rehearsal.
Tomorrow- Mark's soccer.
Tuesday night- square dance lessons.
Wednesday night- Tim and kids to church and I'm free.

We've already been to the Y twice in the 4 days we've been back and that's good, too.
The season is changing. Finally. Surprisingly.

Two things more I want to say.

One, I never thought I would live to see these days and I am more grateful than I can say.

Two, you, dear people- Tim, Emily, Megan, Angela, and Johanna- you have enriched my quality of life so much. You have eased my too tight soul from an constriction I could feel but could never let go of. I have found my swans. I've been a really lousy duck. Really lousy duck. But now, I'm such a very happy swan that I can choose to hang with the ducks without defensiveness or crazy expectations.

I can eat my vegetables because I know that the chocolate cake is coming.

You, my dear people, you are my chocolate cake. With real whip cream frosting and sprinkles!