Limp

I'm so exhausted.  I'm hoping it's simply an adrenaline let-down after all these months.  I'm done with the antibiotics and I counted- I've had 100 Clindamycin and 100 Penicillin since September- which is probably equal to all the ones I've taken in the previous 3 decades.  My digestion is doing well considering, which means lousy.  I'm trying to avoid pain meds, too, since they're hard on stomach/liver/kidneys and make me slightly hyper, so my jaw's throbbing and I'm trying to decide which trade-off to make.  I was in bed for almost 12 hours last night and burst into tears over the van's mud shield problem this morning, which tells me I'm very worn.  I feel flat like a pancake, much more so than even last week. 

This is exactly what adrenaline is supposed to do, push us through the pain and danger until we're safe.  And now I'm paying the piper, just when I feel so relieved and happy, I'd love to celebrate.  So, I guess I'm celebrating by resting and sleeping and weeping the stress out which wasn't quite what I'd had in mind frankly. But it seems real given the last 6 months.

I'm seeing Ginger on Thursday and I bet I'll feel a lot better by the weekend.  Now that it's "over" I've been wanting to get back into action, but no.  I will slow down and rest.  Red alert's over and it's time to honor everything else in my queue that got ignored.