How trauma gets under the skin

This is a thought-provoking article about how trauma becomes physical and the link between inflammation and PTSD/anxiety.  This jives with my own experiences of healing although I see different implications based on my own experiences.

Thanks to the U of M for publishing this and thanks to Kifah for showing it to me.

http://conservancy.umn.edu/bitstream/11299/149429/1/March2013ereview.pdf

Cupcakes and biscuits

Sometimes Our Disappointment

For you, for your sorrow

by Alice Walker

Sometimes
our disappointment
possesses
a purity:
Sometimes
we are merely
blind.

My friend-
who could be
me
or any one
of us-
tells me,
tears
streaming
through
her voice:

I thought he was a cupcake
& instead he is
a biscuit.

My friend
is known
for her
good cooking
as we might be
too.
Still
for years
those
around her
witnessed
the unhoneyed
bitterness
kneaded
into
the flour
of this biscuit;
the greased
lightning
rage
and
unseasoned
scorn
pounded
into
the
dough.

Until,
finally,
all sweetness
beaten away,
this biscuit,
much like biscuits
you and I have known
was baked
in
nobody's
oven
but
her own.

The Joy Diet

Two friends recently recommended the same book- The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life by Martha Beck.

Excellent book.  Very thought-provoking.

One of my favorite parts starts on page 75, "Creativity Step 2: Perseverate on Your Enemies." Perseverate means to obsess or brood.  She recommends naming The Enemy and writing a list of their worst traits, the stuff that really gets under one's skin.  The she suggests "that the traits and behaviors you just listed may be exactly the things you should incorporate into your own behavior, in order to fulfill your heart's desires." (p 78)

This concept of applying to ourselves what we fixate on in others has proven extremely interesting and assumption-challenging.

I encourage you to take a look for yourself!

Leaning into Sharp Points

Leaning into Sharp Points by Stan Goldberg is a thoughtful book about caregiving, specifically intended for people who are providing end-of-life care.  I also found it helpful for me in being kind to myself.  A memorable thought is that the person receiving care and the person giving care both exchange something profound in the process; caregiving isn't only about giving, it's about receiving.

Eliot from Leverage

I really enjoy the tv show Leverage.  Here's a quote that stands out from season 2 episode 2 when Eliot, the hitter, is required to lose a fight.

Sophie: Look, you told me that it's about control, about knowing that you're never going to be the victim.  And that's what keeps you going, right?

Eliot:  You think I'm upset 'cause I got to let this guy kick my ass?  I learned a long time ago, you can't control the violence.  I can take the punishment.  That's what I do.  What I need to control is not out there.  It's here (patting heart).  Always.

The Trauma Toolkit

Interesting book with a lot of practical ideas- The Trauma Toolkit by Barritt.

An memorable quote: betrayal trauma is when children are "traumatized by someone who was supposed to be caring for them."

The Guest House

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

Be grateful for whoever comes, 
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice
meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.

Hafiz 

shared by Kifah