Lyrics

Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy

excerpt from How He Loves Me

John Mark McMillan

This quote is from a song I sang at a church I visited recently. I'd like to think I'm an artistic tree in the wind of God, like this.

 

But I more often find myself discombobulated by God, like this.

Fountain, fountain
We are the same


You with the water, and me with the pain
Turning it over again and again


Don't you wish you could throw your pennies back at them?

Fountain, Fountain
We are the same


All that anyone ever has for you
Are the things you reflect back to them


Don't you wish you could throw your pennies back at them?

excerpts from Fountain, Fountain

Sara Lov

Hell yes, I wish I could throw their shit back at them.  But no.  They're my pennies now.

Two songs and a quote

Have been watching Bones and have been deeply moved.  As I watch these characters, especially Brennan and Booth, I am finding compassion for myself.  Death, truth, love, trust, betrayal, abandonment - all these themes intrigue me. 
As a way to begin, let me share two songs and a quote which have struck me.


Fearless by Lauper 

Running Up That Hill by Placebo


If I was willing to give up my life for her, why would I not be willing to risk my happiness for her?

From The Girl in the Mask

Great sayings

Curly Girl Designs is one of my favorite brands of cards.  Today I'm loving Require Cake, Parades Forever, and Make a Toast.
Enjoy!

Perseverance and Persistence

Yep, this'd be my spring and summer so far.  I laughed 'til I cried.
Check out -Perseverance, Persistence, and Hope.  Oh, and Propaganda is pretty awesome, too.  And Sanity.  And I'm feeling the Stupidity one, too.  And Wishes is hitting a little too close.

Ok, pretty much, read them all.  Pick your own favorites.

It was all in my head but it's still not anymore.

Tah-dah!  Great news.  The abscess in my jaw/sinus did not grow back.  I had a bad runny nose and my surgery site got inflamed.  Plus they said that nerves can take a long time to heal after they've been injured.
Special thanks to Dr Jenny, Sue, and Nurse Jenny at the oral surgeon's office, Jane at the CT scan place, and Mansur Ahmad the radiology person who read my CT scan.  I am very pleased not to need to have another hole drilled in my head.  Very grateful.  Grateful they could help me if I needed and really grateful I didn't need it.
Extra kuddos to Ginger, my chiropractor, for being right about the cause and for being helpful in the healing.  Thanks also to Joe, my acupuncturist, and Tara, my massage lady for helping manage the pain and strengthening me to heal.

And then I finally got a good night's sleep

As I lay down to bed last night, I could hear cheering inside.  It's over and I finished it.
And I slept and slept and slept.
I woke up in the middle of the night reflexively, my mind churning, and then I said to myself, "I resigned"
And I smiled, turned out the mental light, and went back to peaceful sleep.
Disappointments I've got a plenty. My path's littered with dead dreams and aborted hopes.  Confusion and exasperation, check.
Regrets?  Not a one except perhaps that I didn't take my distress seriously sooner. 
But I did take my distress seriously and I did solve my problems by respecting my limits.

Everything associated with this job is packed and awaiting pick up.
The last binder and receipts to turn in to Youth Farm are in my van waiting to be turned in.

Today, good people, I intend to get rid of it all and the only thing I can think to say is

YIPPPEEE!

I did it again

Well, good people, I did it again.  I resigned from my other job.  Yes, this is two resignations in less than 2 weeks.
I could go on and on but going on and on was precisely the problem or perhaps it was more on-going problems with no resolution in sight.  So, I cried some tears and lamented my dreams and hopes and let them go.
Again.